Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I just found a bag of teeth...
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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