Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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