still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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