you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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