well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Randomize
