Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
