Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
