so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
How external is "for external use only"?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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