alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
