Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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