Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
