Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
