Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
