My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
