I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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