Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(813): View more from Florida

Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.

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(404): View more from Georgia

i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.

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(806): View more from Texas

He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag

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(940): View more from Texas

My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!

(940): View more from Texas

HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.

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(302): View more from Delaware

Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...

(302): View more from Delaware

I just found it. I hope it leads to food.

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(985): View more from Louisiana

Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.

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(708): View more from Illinois

YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY

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(613): View more from Ontario

I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.

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