Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
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