is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
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