Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
