I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
