Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
