i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
