She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
