I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
