I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
