fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
