You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
