if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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