There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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