My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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