Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
