There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
