WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
