Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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