Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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