Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
