Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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