yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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