good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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