He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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