yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
