Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
