I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
