remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize