guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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