There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
