So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
