drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
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