I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
