Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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