It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
