i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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