He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
