She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
