Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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