in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
