scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
