we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
