I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Holy sore nipples Batman
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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