we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
